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You are 50 and you are still searching for your so called true love. Hate to watch your life pass you by like this... By all means, indulge in senior dating! It's been years or decades since your last date? Even if you wanted to return into the dating scene, you're fearful that you have already lost your dating touch. And wondering how much the dating etiquette has had already progressed?
Sit back and relax. Regain your dating prowess as you had in your teens back then. Read on to acquire these winning secrets on how to make senior dating lesser of a pressure and more of a pleasurable activity.
1. Care for a second serving? The decision to get into the scene of dating is the one of the goals in getting into a first date. And how else can you accomplish that but to plan a date that would ensure lots of conversation, right? This is the opportunity for you to get to know each other more. Senior dating is definitely no different from younger dating since the "guidelines" don't differ that much. On a first date, it will be wise to avoid activities that will just leave you sitting mummed in the dark, i.e., watching a movie or a play. Senior dating does not spare anyone on the stress of groping in the dark if a first date became full of dead air.
2. Bringing out the best from both. It is imperative that you consider activities that you think will be of your same interest. A hobby or a shared value built into your first date will not only minimize the pressure on the two of you but will also draw out the best in you. In senior dating, regardless of how long you've forsaken your throne already, you will be given a head start if you do your homework. Whether you ask your date regarding what her interests or hobbies beforehand or research through common friends to surprise her with such activity. If you're really into it, there'll be no way of stopping you to make this first date a good one.
3. Wonderful lunch dates. Taking into consideration of senior dating and choosing lunch over dinner for some health reasons is just a loser's thought. A first date during senior dating, just like teen dating, will be more enjoyable if done during daytime when more activities are available for the both of you to enjoy. It's just that intimate ambience that a dinner date conjures that makes a first date more of an anxiety-inducing bustle than an easy feat.
4. If going on senior dating just put you in a nerve-wracking jumbled mood, consider the ever trusty group dates with friends. This will not only minimize the pressure of coming up with an in-synch convo but will also be more of an opportunity to see how you two interact with others. A charity auction or playing a sport that you and your group both agree to will do.
5. Rock and roll or take a stroll. No, it's not about going to rock n' roll concerts. Dance parties are good first date alternatives if you are not really a lunch-date person. After an exhausting boogie-ing evening, those first date stress will already be relieved by then. Taking a stroll after the dance date will give you more time to get acquainted more of each other.
6. Senior dating doesn't mean that you have to be pressured to doing everything to the extent of straining yourself just to hit it off. How? Expand your realm of senior dating beyond those common wine tasting or book searching generic first date activities. Markets or malls are excellent for not only giving you time to gauge whether you're of the same wavelength but may also give you an excuse if you didn't. This is not about giving you negative vibes regarding your first date on senior dating but to prepare you for the possibilities of a not-so successful one or some kind of a way of getting a glimpse of the worst scenario. 7. Choose: graceful or not. First dates often meant not necessarily be knowing the person that much. If ever something comes up or simply you felt that you're not comfortable with your date, leave. It's better to be safe than be sorry. Don't just keep on telling yourself that you've been there and done that. Just keep an open mind and remember that you're involving yourself with senior dating to have a good time. The first date is not an exception. Therefore, use these senior dating secrets whenever you can.
About the Author
Brian Lam is an author of many articles and you can get free dating tips at his Speed Seduction Tips where he will show you many different proven and practical dating tips that you can use instantly in your real life today. Grab these FreeSpeed Seduction Tipsnow.
A Look at Obstacles to Senior Dating Success
When it comes to online dating, most senior singles create obstacles before giving themselves a chance. Let's take a look at some common obstacles to senior dating success.
"I'm not good with computers."
One of the main obstacles to online dating for older people is technophobia, though this is fading. Knowing this reputable dating sites make it as easy on you as possible through step by step guidelines. If all you can do is click the mouse and type with two fingers, you're good to go.
"All the good ones are taken."
True, the population of available singles narrows with age. But there still are still lots of potential partners out there. Surveys by dating sites indicate that the fastest growing demographic in internet dating is over 40 years old. Leading senior dating sites have databases of millions of senior singles.
"My family won't understand."
Another big obstacle: Having to look over your shoulder for approval from family members. Think of how a new relationship might benefit you by increasing your personal happiness. Except in peculiar circumstances, your personal happiness would in most likely rub on those closest to you in a good way.
"My sex life is over."
Barring physical or psychological problems requiring expert or medical help, sex life need not be over because of age. Many older people report healthy and active sex lives well into old age.
"Someone might find out."
This is one of the reasons given for not trying online dating. Consider this: what are the odds of someone coming across your ad among millions of others in one of the hundreds of dating sites out there? And, what would they be doing there anyway if not at least entertaining the idea of dating online themselves?
"It's not safe."
Horror stories in the press about online dating experiences keep senior singles away from this dating method. Negative news is what sells and naturally, will receive greater publicity. What the press does not say is that most of the negative experiences have their origins in free chat rooms. Dating site membership fees keep most havoc-wreckers away (why pay to wreck havoc when you can do it for free?).
"I want to lose some weight first."
This and similar self-improvement "reasons" are excuses older people use to postpone dating. Understandable, as it may be, waiting until you are perfect will only prolong your loneliness. Get there and start finding your mate, then begin working on your physical imperfections.
"I will look naughty, desperate or perverted."
There are senior dating services and senior dating sites dedicated to older people seeking partners within their age group. Young people are not allowed on these sites. Most of the senior singles in these sites are sincere, lively people who have or have been in thriving and respectable careers.
Yes, senior dating online is alive, vibrant and very decent. Give it at try. It works.
Dating Senior: Where Senior Singles Find Love and Companionship
Are you a senior single who is thinking about dating again? Meeting new people can be challenging especially to older people as they often face unique circumstances.
One of the greatest challenges is that many older people have been in a relationship that may have lasted for decades. Having to learn the dating game all over can give one an awkward feeling.
It is beyond the scope of this article to offer support to the person who, for any reason, is unable to let go and start over. Such a person may need help from a professional. This article is for the relationship-ready person who does not know where (or how) to start.
Another obstacle to senior dating is that there are not too many avenues open to this age-group. Singles clubs and bars and clubs are not exactly made with this population in mind. Well, being the one senior person in a club full of twenty-something year olds is not particularly endearing, and is open to the wrong interpretation.
Added to this is feeling, real or imagined that one is no longer as attractive as they once were. Physical limitations that sometimes inevitably come with age complicate things even farther. People of the same age-group might be more understanding and accommodating to these limitations.
So, where to go for the senior single seeking a companion or partner?
While joining a group or club consisting of people with similar interests may be a starting point, there still might not be as many available (and compatible) seniors. Dating has always been a numbers game. Cruises and vacation packages for seniors could cost a fortune, with zero end-results.
One option that offers the best value is senior online dating. There are dating services dedicated specifically to helping people over 40 or 50 years old find partners.
Surveys by dating sites indicate that the fastest growing segment in online dating (aka internet dating) is the above age 40 bracket. This can be traced to the virtual non-availability of other convenient dating methods open to senior singles.
Senior dating sites are very active and are not just for retirees. Nor are they for perverts simply out to satisfy their twisted cravings. Most people in this age group seek serious relationships. Plus, you need not worry about competing with younger people as they won't be on these sites!
A senior dating service offers several advantages over other dating methods. One big advantage is ability to search among hundreds of senior singles all of whom have one goal, to find a mate. All are there because they are available (no guessing).
Another advantage is that you can search by geographical area, age, height etc., as well as interests. This greatly increases your chance of finding a compatible partner.
Reputable dating sites make huge efforts make your mate-finding experience easy through user-friendly interfaces. They also go to great lengths to protect your privacy.
Online senior personals help bring this segment of people together from the comfort and privacy of their own homes, 24/7. Seniors are able to meet on the internet without having to worry about physical limitations, loosing face, or feeling out of place.
Little wonder then, that senior dating is such a growing phenomenon on the internet. Most of the top-rated sites offer free trials. You should at least give senior online dating a try for one simple reason. It works.
Dating Tips for Seniors
An individual may not feel as young as they once were. That is perfectly okay. It is never too late to find a love or a very close friendship. There are many ways a senior can locate some fun and interesting people to casually date or spend the rest of their life with.
With simple steps every older person will be able to go out and meet new people for an entertaining time. An individual does not need to stay at home watching TV or being lonely. Everyone is looking for someone. That special individual could be right at your fingertips. There are many social events dedicated for older people to leave their homes and keep enjoying life.
One of the key methods in dating is common ground. It is important to find an engagement geared towards a person likes and interests. Once that is accomplished, other individuals will be at these events enjoying their hobbies and entertainment.
Every person at these events is just like you. They may be shy and timid. These individuals may not know if they should really be at a social gathering. An important step is to relax and converse with different types of people. They are all in the same boat.
Conversation is a great way to learn about the other person. It is important to know if a second date may be in the works. The only way to find out is to talk to each other, find out likes and dislikes and begin planning for a second rendezvous. Attend a group gathering; mingle with different styles of people. Talk to them and get to know a few that catch your eye. Invite a person to a show or an activity that both people may enjoy.
It is okay if the first dates do not go as well as planned. The point of dating is to meet new and interesting people. A person does not need to fall in love or even like the person they are with. If one does not work out, tell them you had an interesting time and thank them. Then move on to someone new.
Come away from the date as a sign of practice and experience. Do not let a few bad encounters discourage you from future people or events. An individual is out there for everyone.
Each individual has their strengths and weaknesses. It is never a good idea to compare the date with a past love. No one will match up to someone you were married to for 40 years. However, a person could seek out someone that may enjoy the same styles of activities.
Each date should be light and entertaining until it is known if they are the one. Senior dating does not need to be rocket science. Anyone could go out and have a fabulous time. A wonderful conversation and a fun time that both will enjoy is the perfect encounter.
Safe Sex and You: Some Pointers on Avoiding STDs
With increasing incidence and information on sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the AIDS epidemic, the term safe sex has also made its way to public consciousness. Loosely defined, safe sex is a practice in which one or both partners take action in preventing the transmission of STDs and HIV. Common diseases that are spread through sexual contact are gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, genital warts, hepatitis B, Chlamydia, and trichomoniasis. The prevalence of these diseases in the U.S. has underscored the urgency of promoting and practicing safe sex. However, there are some diseases that are transferred through non-sexual means, such as needle-sharing and blood transfusion.
Though most STDs are curable, they bring a lot of physical and mental anxieties to the afflicted person. So far, abstinence is the only foolproof way to avoid these unpleasant conditions. However, when abstinence is neither applicable nor desired, there are several ways to prevent the transmission of STDs, all of which are promoted in the practice of safe sex.
First option is to maintain a monogamous relationship with someone whom you are absolutely sure to be disease-free. Be aware, though, that marriage is no guarantee that you won’t contact STDs, as gynecologists have long reported cases of women being infected by cheating husbands, and vice versa.
If you are not married and are in a romantic relationship, know the sexual history of your partner. Insist on honesty when you exchange information on whatever medical conditions both of you have gone through and whether you had medical clearance from doctors. It would also be advisable to insist on adhering to the rules of safe sex and use condoms every time you have sex, especially if you have the tendency to have multiple partners, or engage in oral and anal sex.
Condoms not only prevent pregnancies, they also significantly decrease the risk of getting STDs. Though no research or study have given absolute proof on the efficacy of this contraceptive device against diseases, proper handling and use of condoms ensures almost complete protection, especially latex condoms. Though polyurethane condoms are known to effective in preventing several STDs, there is still a risk of contacting HIV. Additional word of caution to those preferring lambskin condoms: they are only effective in preventing pregnancies and not STDs. It is also important to select condoms that fits the penis snugly, does not easily breaks or slips off, and is thick enough to withstand rigorous sexual activity, as the preference may be. Take time to determine the expiry date and storing the condoms in dark, cool areas.
Other protective devices used in practicing safe sex are female condoms, dental dams for oral sex, and gloves when masturbating. Make sure that sex toys, like dildos and vibrators, are properly cleaned.
It is good to note that safe sex does not only mean the use of protective devices but also incorporates certain preventive practices as well. Reduce the use of recreational drugs and ingestion of alcohol whenever you engage in sexual activity. It would not do any good if one or both of you become heedless, has impaired judgment, becomes reckless, and cannot properly communicate with each other during sex. Doing drugs also affects the immune system and makes the user prone to any form of diseases. And though it is true that an ounce of prevention translates to a pound of cure, be responsible enough to have regular check ups with your doctor, especially if you disregard the rules of safe sex, like having multiple partners and engaging in one-night stands. Be alert when symptoms manifest themselves and seek immediate medical attention.
Every women differs and so differs there choice of foreplay, some love it to be soft and tender while others relish wild foreplay. Kissing is probably the most important part of foreplay or even sex for that matter. It's not just about kissing her mouth; let her feel you all over. Don't let her feel that you are neglecting any part of her body.
Removing her clothes can be a very important part of foreplay. You have two choices: slow or fast. The reason you should try both is because women love variety and to figure out what she really likes can be a fantabulous onset.
It's always good to discuss your feelings while having sex, try to stimulate her imagination; this will help her reach climax. Do not hassle in sharing your likes and dislikes, talk about your problems. If you are facing serious physical disorder like erectile dysfunction.
Keep on experimenting with sex to make it more exciting, try to implement a variety of techniques rather than rather then doing the same thing over and over again. Discuss with your partner whether he or she is enjoying a particular pose or not.
There is no rule and regulation in bed, don't feel embarrassed in trying something new, its all about satisfying yourself and your partner.
If your partner has any problem discuss it, if he is not able to sustain erection console him and suggest him prescription pill Viagra. Viagra helps in maintaining erection and enhancing sexual duration.
Thanks to medical sciences that has provided successful, effectual and easy solution to erectile dysfunction. You don't need to go for the painful as well as embarrassing surgery. The onset of Viagra is amazingly fast and the effect lasts for around 4 hours giving enough time to plan out and enjoy the sexual desires.
nayalbugs - Committed to writing !
Did You Know That Sex Is Good For Your Health?
Try that one the next time you are trying to encourage your partner to get busy! Seriously, it has been medically proven that the act of sex is beneficial to your emotional and physical health. The hormone, testosterone is released in large amounts during the activity which is essential for strong muscles and bones. You will also burn calories and your brain will release Oxytocin which makes the emotions of nurturing and affection stronger. So, to summarize the benefits in a nutshell, you get stronger muscles, burn calories, and feelings of love and affection from engaging in sex on a regular basis. I can't think of any exercise that can do that and it sure won't be as much fun! If you participate in sexual activity on a regular basis it is excellent for helping you to maintain your weight, it burns off calories which also reduces fat stores. You can actually burn similar calorie totals as you would with weight training, canoeing, dancing, or walking. You will also experience an increased blood flow overall in your body which helps your health in all areas and since it also increases your heart rate it can have cardiac benefits as well. Good cholesterol is increased and bad is decreased.
Another side benefit from having sex at bedtime is that it relieves stress and releases sleep inducing hormones that will help you to sleep better. If you are having trouble sleeping, maybe you aren't getting enough! Sex makes you live longer. Now there's a cool bumper sticker. But, it's true, according to studies stating that two orgasms per week could your death rate by as much as 50% compared to people only having one a month. In addition, your immune system is boosted and the so-called mother hormone, DHEA is released which increases cognitive abilities, helps repair and maintain tissues, helps with bone growth, and help your skin to stay looking healthy and smooth. It kind of sounds like the fountain of youth, doesn't it? Due to the release of testosterone and estrogen you want to have sex more often. Testosterone is also the hormone that is essential in the building and toning of muscles. The estrogen and testosterone are also the hormones that stimulate a woman to want her partner's touch and penetration. The hormone, Oxytocin acts to release endorphins that are natural opiates into the bloodstream in large quantities which means that sexual activity can be used as an effective pain reliever.
About the Author
Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Florida. Find more about this as well as Sexual Enhancement at http://www.sexualpleasureplus.com
Exercise For Better Sex
Do you get winded by simply walking up a flight of stairs? Are you straining to pick up a gallon of milk? Do you crawl into bed shortly after arriving home from work? If so, you shouldn't expect to have the energy for a sexual marathon. But with proper exercise, one can get on the right track to feeling young and energetic in bed again.
At Ask UncleTerry.com we regularly have people emailing us - asking how they can improve their sexual stamina, get better aroused, last longer in bed and enjoy better enjoy sex. One of the best ways to achieve all of these desires and a whole lot more is exercise. Unless you're a cold fish, there's a great deal of body movement during sex. Together as a couple, go running or bike riding. This is a great way to spend quality time together while building physical endurance. Having healthier arteries will allow the blood to flow better to the genitals. With a healthier blood flow, men will develop a harder erection, and women will be more easily aroused. With a conditioned body, one is able to last longer in bed and have sex numerous times. After climaxing once, break the habit of falling asleep afterward. Pleasure your mate for a while, instead. When the blood gets flowing again, "round two" can commence. This will keep both of you interested, and make your mate go wild with anticipation during intermission.
With endless positions to choose from during intercourse such as those found at AskUncleTerry.com, don't stick to the same routine. If you work your upper body, it will be easier to grab your mate with authority and try a new position. Different positions will keep the spark alive. Use each muscle. Guys, this doesn't mean you should just lay back and let the woman do all the work. You need to be engaged, as well. Sexual energy will increase exponentially if both bodies thrust towards one another. Exercising your legs, arms and chest is great, but working the hidden muscles will help build stamina, as well.
Kegel exercises work for both men, and women. This exercise will thoroughly help each partner to gain control of his or her body. To do Kegel exercises, participants must tighten the muscle as if they are holding back urine. This is not about squeezing your stomach, or rear end. Next time you are going the bathroom, try holding back the stream. This should give you a feel of where that muscle is. Once you have found it, try working the muscle with reps of about 10 to 30 times. Then try repeating this at least 50 times a day. Once you are able to do 50, step it up to 30 reps at 200 times a day. It may seem like a lot of work, but you can do these while reading the paper or typing on the computer. If you are faithful to the routine, you should feel results within a month. A woman who does Kegel exercises can control and tighten her vagina. To help stimulate the male, she can use this muscle to get a firmer grab on the penis. Men who are going to climax should tighten their pubococcygeal (PC) muscle and release as desired. This will help them develop a skill to control ejaculation. Every time you hold back an orgasm, try to last a little longer than the previous one. Remember, practice makes perfect and the ladies love a man who can hold his own.
Climb the stairs to your bedroom without feeling exhausted. Pick up that gallon of milk after a glorious morning of sex. After work, you should plan on another sexual marathon. Sex is a great stress reliever and an amazing way to show the teamwork of a couple. Although exercising may seem hard at times, your body and your spouse will thank you.
Writer Terrance Lile brings you Ask Uncle Terry & ForumErotica, the fastest growing sexual education experience in cyberspace. Through a blend of morality, sincerity and humor this website provides sexual information for the enjoyment of diverse and safe sexual practices, while at the same time encouraging abstinence until in a committed relationship. http://www.askuncleterry.com
Safe Sex and Senior Citizens
One of the hazards of sexual contact is exposure to certain infections. These range from uncomfortable but minor problems, to life-threatening disorders, such as HIV/AIDS. Certain disorders, such as genital herpes, genital warts and gonorrhea, are almost always associated with sexual contact and are known as sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). Others, such as hepatitis B and C and HIV may be transmitted by other means other than sex.
So why should this matter to senior citizens? Well, consider this. Other than those below age 25, STD’s and HIV are spreading fastest in the over 50 population. This is because many seniors, who are either divorced later in life or are widowed when a partner passes on, are not as familiar with the dangers of STD’s as they should be. The net result is that when these seniors do find a new partner, they do not take the steps necessary to protect themselves.
Assessing The Risks
It is important to assess your risks of exposure to STD’s so that you can make informed choices about the level of risk that you find acceptable. To be able to do this, you need to understand how infection is spread and know which sexual activities carry the greatest risk. If you think that you are likely to be exposed to infection, or if you are not sure what the risk of infection is, you should use a condom. It is essential that you do not have unprotected sex until your relationship has been established, monogamous and both parties are known to be disease-free.
High-Risk Activities Senior Should Avoid
Diseases such as Hepatitis B and C and HIV/AIDS may be spread through contact with semen, blood or vaginal secretions. Other disorders, such as genital warts and genital herpes, are transmitted by contact with a wart or a sore. The areas that are most vulnerable to infection are the skin of the genitals and mucous membranes such as the lining of the vagina, anus, mouth and urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to the outside of the body).
The sexual activities that pose the highest risk are those in which there is a chance that the mucous membranes will be damaged, allowing infectious agents from body fluids to enter the bloodstream. Vaginal, anal or oral sex that involves penetration, and in which the partners do not use a condom, are considered to be the activities that carry the highest risk. Anal penetration can be considerably hazardous because the lining of the anus and the rectum is easily damaged.
Sexual History
The risk of exposure to STD’s increases with the more sexual partners that you have and the number of times you have unprotected sex. This is particularly worrisome for seniors who have been divorced or widowed later in life. This is because many seniors are coming from monogamous relationships with a loved one and didn’t need to know about safe sex practices, STD’s or be concerned with their partner’s sexual history.
Now, later in life, you could be in a situation where you are beginning to date again and are unaware of the risks that could be associated with unprotected sex. This is because, as the saying goes, ‘When you have sex with someone, you have sex with every person that person has had sex with’. If anyone your partner was intimate with is infected, you could become infected as well. This is why seniors are increasingly being stricken with HIV/AIDS. And why it is more important than ever for senior citizens to be aware of the sexual histories of their partners.
What You Can Do
Condoms are able to protect you from infections that are transmitted during sexual intercourse. However, they do not protect you from sores or warts on areas of the body that are not covered by the condom or from pubic lice or scabies.
If you choose not to use condoms, you need to be absolutely sure that neither you nor your partner is carrying an infection. Discuss your past sexual contacts honestly, particularly if either of you is in a high-risk group. If you suspect that you have been exposed to infection, arrange to have a screening test at a clinic that specializes in STD testing. With the HIV virus, there is a latent period of 2-3 months between acquiring the infection and the time when the antibody can be detected in the test. For this reason, many clinics still advise the use of a condom for the first three months of a new relationship before having an HIV test.
Once you and your partner are sure that you are free from STD’s, the most effective way to protect yourself is to remain monogamous. If you do have sexual intercourse with other partners, the use of a condom is vital. And if you develop an STD, be open and honest with your partner, and make sure to use condoms until the infection has been treated and you are free of the effects from the infection.
How Can Seniors Enjoy Better Sex Now Than Ever
Many older Americans and senior citizens have found that their sex lives actually improve as they age. After the kids have moved from the nest and retired, couples have the opportunity to relax, save their strength and enjoy each other without the old distractions. They find that, like a bottle of wine, senior sex gets better with age.
And with a little communication, creativity and a new zest for life, you can improve your sex life too.
What we have done is list a few tips to help make sex for senior citizens better for you, at any age...
All of our bodies change during our senior years. It is at this time that it is even more important to communicate your feelings, fears, thoughts and desires to your partner. And because your partner is undergoing the same physiological changes, encouraging your partner to communicate is vital as well. So as you improve your communication skills with your partner, it will cause the two of you to feel closer and make senior sex more pleasurable.
So if you want to try something ‘new’, have an open discussion with your partner, and make sure that your partner knows that you are open to their new ideas as well. This is the time in your life when you have more time, less commitments, less responsibilities and more energy to use now that you aren’t chasing your kids or working. So this is a time for you to be creative, passionate and enjoy life.
And it is important to understand what stimulates us sexually, especially in our senior years.
Women are more auditory, they tend to want to hear sexy things. So men need to understand this and be in-tune with their feelings. Tell your wife how much you love her and how beautiful she is. This will definitely set the mood for a woman.
Men tend to be more visual, they are stimulated by seeing beautiful things. So a woman can entice her by dressing up and making herself look attractive and desirable.
And remember that as a senior citizen, you may not be as comfortable with some sexual positions as you were in the past. So you may need to adapt what you do in order to keep up the pleasures that you once experienced. This is why communication is so important for you and your partner.
So, just like when you were younger, start being creative again with your partner. Sex as senior calls for creativity. Try and seek out new positions and techniques…and do this together. The internet provides a wealth of knowledge on any topic, sex in particular. So do some web surfing together to come up with ideas, positions and techniques to make your sex lives more enjoyable.
Communication is most important if you are dealing with certain sexual issues that affect performance, such as erectile dysfunction. If a man is dealing with erectile dysfunction, then try positions where hardness is less important, such as having the woman on top.
And sex has never been just about intercourse. Foreplay is more important than ever as a senior, as seniors typically take more time in their golden years to be stimulated. Therefore, massage, touching, kissing, oral sex and masturbation are more important than ever for the two of you to enjoy healthy sex as a senior citizens.
Another key to healthy sex for senior citizens is your general health. This will contribute not only to your physical stamina and performance but your emotional well-being as well. And when you feel better about yourself, you will perform better in all areas of your life, including the bedroom. So regular exercise and eating a healthy, low-fat diet is important.
Your diet should consist of fruits and vegetables and lean white meats for protein. Keep your calcium intake up through consuming dairy products, especially for women who may be suffering from osteoporosis. You should also limit your alcohol content and decrease or eliminate your consumption of saturated fats (like red meat).
As with any exercise program, check with your doctor to design a workout program that is within your current physical capabilities, and do not go past their recommendations. You may start out my just walking at first, and then building from there. If that is your doctor’s advice, then you must stick with that.
Ultimately though, your goal should be to develop a physical program which combines aerobics, weight-lifting and stretching. This will ultimately lead to a strong body and strong performance in the bedroom.
What Can Affect Healthy Senior Sex?
Even though it is a common misconception, getting older doesn't mean losing your desire for sex or your need for affection. In many respects, as your children leave the nest and you retire, you have more time on your hands and as a result, your need and desire for sex may increase with age.
Sharing your life in a fulfilling relationship, which often includes a healthy sexual relationship, can have positive effects on every aspect of your life, from physical health to self-esteem.
Fortunately, your need and desire for sex really never ceases. Most people continue to have sexual fantasies and desires throughout their lives, usually well into their 80s.
But even if sex isn’t what it was in your 20’s and 30’s, with some preparation and communication between yourself and your partner it can easily be as enjoyable and fulfilling as ever.
And here is what makes senior sex ever better:
·The kids are out of the nest, so you have more time on your hands without the responsibilities
·You’re retired, so once again, you have more time and energy on your hands
·You are more mature and are able to make to understand the physiological and physical changes that you and your partner are experiencing, and are able to make the necessary adjustments to help you accommodate and capitalize on those changes. This is what makes senior sex better than ever.
Instead of being the beginning of the end for your sex life, these changes can give you both new reasons to communicate about your changing needs and to explore new positions and techniques.
It is also important to understand that men and women are different on a physiological basis, and they change differently as they age. Communication is the key to understanding what your partner is experiencing and how the two of you can adapt to these changes.
For women:
Most age-related physical changes that affect female sexually are linked in some way to menopause and estrogen levels falling.
As women age, intercourse becomes less comfortable or even painful. This is because your vagina loses elasticity as you age and doesn’t stretch as far or as easily. Another concern for women is that lubrication takes longer, even when you are sexually aroused. As a result of this, some women can experience a burning sensation during intercourse or light vaginal bleeding afterward.
A way to counter these issues is to talk to your partner about extending the amount of time the two of you experiment with foreplay. Longer foreplay will stimulate your natural lubrication, and you can use a water-based personal lubricant to make up any difference.
Also here is some more good news. Regular intercourse will help to maintain your elasticity and lubrication. So, the ‘more you’ve gotten’, the more you can get.
On the other hand, if you have not had sexual intercourse in a while, then it could take some time to stretch the walls of the vagina enough so that you can comfortably fit a penis.
Once again, communication is the key. Talk to your partner about what you are experiencing. This is help you get aroused and minimize any discomfort you may be experiencing.
For men:
It may take you longer to achieve an erection as you get older. In addition to the amount of time it takes to get erect, you may not be a firm or last as long as you did when you were younger. Aging also will increase the amount of time it takes between orgasms.
As we have stressed throughout these articles, communication is the key. This is something that men typically do not do, and if you do not communicate with your partner, then this will only lead to stress and anxiety, which will further hurt your performance in the bedroom. So talk to your partner and be frank about your concerns. Your partner will be more open than you think and this will help you to experience more joy and pleasure during sex.
You should also talk to your doctor you're having trouble with impotence, maintaining an erection, reaching orgasm or experiencing any form of erectile dysfunction.
What most seniors do not realize is that maintaining a healthy sex life into their golden years is as much a matter of mental health as well as physical health.
Stress, anxiety, depression can affect your interest in sex and your ability to perform as surely as reduced hormone levels or other physical changes. In many ways, the mental aspects are more important than the physical. Just as you notice more wrinkles and gray hair, as your love handles grow and you see more fat around your waist and hips, you may become embarrassed about your appearance and feel less attractive to your partner. These feelings can make senior sex less appealing and can cause you or your partner to become less interested in sex. In addition, retirement and other major life change may leave you feeling temporarily uncertain about your sense of purpose, which can undermine your self-esteem.
All of these psychological changes can interfere with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner, make arousal more difficult and lower your interest in sex.
For sexually active seniors, the stress of worrying about how you will perform, or whether you are worthy of sexual attention from your partner, can lead to lack of arousal or orgasm in women or impotence in men.
There is a VERY simple solution to all of these problems. Be open and honest in your communication with your partner. When the two of you are able to discuss these concerns frankly, the fear and anxiety will go away and allow you to enjoy your intimate moments even more.
HIV and the Senior Citizen
Typically, when we think of HIV/AIDS, we have certain populations in mind. We hear about how it destroys the lives of young men and women; on the gay and transgender populations; on the homeless and the IV drug user. We seldom think about HIV and senior citizens, and no one talk about the affect of the disease on senior citizens. It's no wonder that when you talk to senior citizens, they feel HIV is not a risk to them.
The truth of the matter is far different. Statistics show that 11 percent of all new AIDS cases are in people over the age of 50. These same statistics also show that new AIDS cases have risen faster in the over 50 population than in people under 40.
Myths and Misconceptions Regarding HIV and Senior Citizens
The primary myth that contributes to the growing rate of HIV among the over 50 population is…
"Seniors aren’t sexually active and therefore can’t get HIV."
This is a deadly misconception and nothing could be further than the truth. The most recent scientific studies have shown that sexual desire does not wane after the age of 50. These same studies report that more than half of persons over 50 are having sex a couple times each month.
The problem for seniors is that knowledge of safe sex practices is much less than that of persons in their late teens and early twenties. This is why the number of cases of HIV continues to grow among the senior population.
HIV Over 50 is Not New - But the Mode of Transmission Is
HIV among adults over 50 is not a new phenomenon. Since the disease came to the forefront of the public consciousness, HIV in persons older than 50 has accounted for about 10 percent of all cases. What has changed is the mode of transmission.
In the early years of the HIV epidemic, blood transfusion was the major mode of transmission among the senior population. Today, it is heterosexual contact that is the primary mode of transmission for the disease, and these numbers continue to grow. The figures are staggering. Heterosexual transmission in men over 50 is up 94 percent and the rate has doubled in women since 1991. Worse still, seniors are not getting safe sex education and continue to get HIV infected, primarily because they feel they are immune to the disease.
What Can Be Done?
Some of the steps that can be taken to reduce the level of infections of senior citizens include:
Change the traditional mode of thinking. Physicians do not routinely check for HIV risk factors in persons over 50. This is failing of the medical community based on incorrect stereotypes. This incorrect belief that people over 50 do not have sexual risk factors for HIV contributes to the incidence of unprotected sex among seniors and the lack of safe sex education and practices directed at senior citizens. This lack of HIV knowledge combined with the belief that safe sex is only for young women wanting to prevent pregnancy leads to at risk behavior among all senior citizens.
Stereotypes must be broken down. For example, most people think of gay men as white in their twenties or thirties. Because gay men are an at risk population, education, money and prevention resources are directed to this group. However, gay men over the age of 50 are a growing population in the United States, in the same proportion that the general population is aging as well. While young gay men have always been a target of prevention education, the prevention messages need to be adjusted to include the over 50 gay population. Proper and targeted prevention messages have been shown to have a bigger impact on behavior than does poorly targeted education.
As our society ages, the medical community must adjust to all of their needs. We are adapting very well in some areas, such as with assisted living and hospice care. The treatment of HIV and the education of senior in safe sex practices is something that society must improve on.
Sex and Your Health
Human beings are unique in the animal world in having the capacity and the desire for sexual activity even when the female is not fertile and in maintaining that desire into old age, long after conception has ceased to be possible. The explanation for this is that sex helps to maintain partnerships. Regular sex also seems to promote cardiovascular fitness and even prolong your life. It is a noted fact that people who are in stable sexual relationships live longer than those without sexual partners, all the more reason for us seniors to ‘stay busy’.
A satisfying sexual relationship is an important part of life but not always easy to achieve, and sexual contact can be risky. In particular, casual sex and sex with multiple partners, even for us seniors, carries of risks of sexually transmitted diseases.
A Healthy Relationship
What constitutes a healthy sexual relationship varies widely from person to person. Sexual fulfillment depends on a blend of physical and psychological factors, and what is right for one couple may not suit another couple. You and your partner should both be happy with the frequency of your sexual activity, should be able to discuss the sexual activities that you find pleasant and what you find unappealing.
Even seniors in a sexual relationship should be aware of the risks posed by sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) and understand how to minimize your risks of being exposed to them through safe sex practices.
Potential Problems
It is normal to experience fluctuations in sex drive or occasional temporary loss of sexual desire, lack of sexual response, or the inability to perform sexually. However, if sexual problems persist, they may be depressing or cause for anxiety, which further impairs your ability to enjoy sexual activity, and this creates a vicious cycle.
Sexual problems may be from a number of causes. Emotional difficulties in your current relationship will affect your sex life. External stress will also affect a relationship and may lead to problems. For example, ongoing problems at work or financial difficulties may cause anxiety, irritability or lack of sleep, all of which may decrease your desire for sex. Past upsets of an emotional nature, such as the passing of friends, can affect your current situation even when the problem seems to have disappeared.
Decrease in sex drive or impaired sexual function may also be the result of complications of certain long-term physical conditions, such as diabetes; disabilities that cause pain or restrict movement and convalescence from surgery or severe illness.
What You Can Do
If there are matters that are bothering you, it is important to talk about them to your partner. If the problem is persistent, discuss it with your doctor, who can refer you to the appropriate help.
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Illness, disability, or the drugs you take to treat a health problem can affect your ability to have and enjoy sex. But, even the most serious health problems usually don’t have to stop you from having a satisfying sex life.
Arthritis. Joint pain due to arthritis can make sexual contact uncomfortable. Joint replacement surgery and drugs may relieve this pain. Exercise, rest, warm baths, and changing the position or timing of sexual activity can be helpful.
Chronic pain. In addition to arthritis, pain that continues for more than a month or comes back on and off over time can be caused by other bone and muscle conditions, shingles, poor blood circulation, or blood vessel problems. This discomfort can, in turn, lead to sleep problems, depression, isolation, and difficulty moving around. These can interfere with intimacy between older people. Chronic pain does not have to be part of growing older and can often be treated.
Diabetes. Many men with diabetes do not have sexual problems, but this is one of the few illnesses that can cause impotence. In most cases medical treatment can help.
Heart disease. Narrowing and hardening of the arteries known as atherosclerosis can change blood vessels so that blood does not flow freely. This can lead to trouble with erections in men, as can high blood pressure (hypertension). Some people who have had a heart attack are afraid that having sex will cause another attack. The chance of this is very low. Most people can start having sex again 3 to 6 weeks after their condition becomes stable following an attack, if their doctor agrees. Always follow your doctor’s advice.
Incontinence. Loss of bladder control or leaking of urine is more common as we grow older, especially in women. Stress incontinence happens during exercise, coughing, sneezing, or lifting, for example. Because of the extra pressure on your abdomen during sex, incontinence might cause some people to avoid sex. The good news is that this can usually be treated.
Stroke. The ability to have sex is rarely damaged by a stroke, but problems with erections are possible. It is unlikely that having sex will cause another stroke. Someone with weakness or paralysis caused by a stroke might try using different positions or medical devices to help them continue having sex.
Surgery. Many of us worry about having any kind of surgery—it is especially troubling when the genital area is involved. Happily, most people do return to the kind of sex life they enjoyed before having surgery.
Hysterectomy is surgery to remove the uterus. It does not interfere with sexual functioning. If a hysterectomy seems to take away from a woman’s ability to enjoy sex, a counselor may be helpful. Men who feel their partners are “less feminine” after a hysterectomy may also be helped by counseling.
Mastectomy is surgery to remove all or part of a woman’s breast. Your body is as capable of sexual response as ever, but you may lose your sexual desire or sense of being desired. Sometimes it is useful to talk with other women who have had this surgery. Programs like the American Cancer Society’s (ACS) “Reach to Recovery” can be helpful for both women and men. Rebuilding of the breast (reconstruction) is also a possibility to discuss with your surgeon.
About 1500 American men develop breast cancer each year. In them the disease can make their bodies make extra “female” hormones. These can greatly lower their sex drive.
Prostatectomy is surgery that removes all or part of a man’s prostate. Sometimes this procedure is done because of an enlarged prostate. It may cause urinary incontinence or impotence. If removal of the prostate gland (radical prostatectomy) is needed, doctors can often save the nerves going to the penis. An erection may still be possible. Talk to your doctor before surgery to make sure you will be able to lead a fully satisfying sex life.
Medications. Some drugs can cause sexual problems. These include some blood pressure medicines, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilizers, appetite suppressants, diabetes drugs, and some ulcer drugs like ranitidine. Some can lead to impotence or make it hard for men to ejaculate. Some drugs can reduce a woman’s sexual desire. Check with your doctor. She or he can often prescribe a different drug without this side effect.
Alcohol. Too much alcohol can cause erection problems in men and delay orgasm in women.
People seem to want and need to be close to others. As we grow older, many of us also want to continue an active, satisfying sex life. But the aging process may cause some changes.
What Are Normal Changes?
Normal aging brings physical changes in both men and women. These changes sometimes affect one’s ability to have and enjoy sex with another person. Some women enjoy sex more as they grow older. After menopause or a hysterectomy, they may no longer fear an unwanted pregnancy. They may feel freer to enjoy sex.
Some women do not think things like gray hair and wrinkles make them less attractive to their sexual partner. But if a woman believes that looking young or being able to give birth makes her more feminine, she may begin to worry about how desirable she is no matter what her age is. That might make sex less enjoyable for her.
A woman may notice changes in her vagina. As she ages, her vagina shortens and narrows. The walls become thinner and also a little stiffer. These changes do not mean she can’t enjoy having sex. However, most women will also have less vaginal lubrication. This could affect sexual pleasure.
As men get older, impotence becomes more common. Impotence is the loss of ability to have and keep an erection hard enough for sexual intercourse. By age 65, about 15 to 25% of men have this problem at least one out of every four times they are having sex. This may happen in men with heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes—either because of the disease or the medicines used to treat it.
A man may find it takes longer to get an erection. His erection may not be as firm or as large as it used to be. The amount of ejaculate may be smaller. The loss of erection after orgasm may happen more quickly, or it may take longer before an erection is again possible. Some men may find they need more foreplay.
